{"id":117351,"date":"2022-11-14T09:00:45","date_gmt":"2022-11-14T09:00:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/?p=117351"},"modified":"2022-11-22T11:03:25","modified_gmt":"2022-11-22T11:03:25","slug":"modupe-ogunniyi-menopause","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/menopause-your-way\/guest-author\/modupe-ogunniyi-menopause\/","title":{"rendered":"Modupe Ogunniyi talks menopause with her mum"},"content":{"rendered":"

In a culture where conversations between generations don\u2019t usually happen, I sat down with my mum to hear what her experience of menopause was like.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Mummy.\u201d \u201cHello my Princess.\u201d My mum has just returned from Lisbon with my Dad, celebrating her 64th birthday and their 34th wedding anniversary. She\u2019s smiling at me through my screen – we\u2019re on a Zoom call, something she\u2019s now become a pro at following months of online church. \u201cSo, what do you want to ask me?\u201d<\/p>\n

I grew up in a culture where children didn\u2019t ask questions and parents never shared; curiosity is stifled and giving opinions is seen as disrespectful. I was around 27 when I decided to rebel against this and use the present to get to know my mother. Not just the authoritarian who told me to clean the house and to stand in the kitchen while she cooked, but the woman she was before she had me.<\/p>\n

My mum smiles, \u201cWhat else do you want to know?\u201d She\u2019s eager to tell me more – from her relationships before my dad, to her time as an entrepreneur, and today, she\u2019s telling me about her journey through menopause.<\/p>\n

I recently came across TENA\u2019s #LastLonelyMenopause campaign and began to wonder if my mum felt lonely during hers. If she had, I wouldn\u2019t have known as womanhood, periods, sex and the sorts, were topics my mother and I never discussed. To the extent that she found out I was pregnant by randomly asking one night if I had been having \u2018fun\u2019 with my boyfriend. So when I came across #LastLonelyMenopause, a campaign that aims to encourage more intergenerational conversations about the life stage, I thought: \u201cPerfect – an opportunity to hear more about the woman she is and the journey that has brought her here.\u201d<\/p>\n

I wondered – did she experience loneliness like 43% of women do? Did she have anyone to speak being that her sisters live in Nigeria, and she is alone with my dad in England? 79% of women don\u2019t tell a female relative when they realise they\u2019re going through menopause – did my mother fall into this category?<\/p>\n

I wondered if my mother had people to talk to, to share stories with, to call up when in annoyance her husband had closed all the windows and ignored her need for a breeze. \u201cHe didn\u2019t understand what I was going through; even to now.\u201d She says in jest, my dad in earshot.<\/p>\n

So, in a bid to have a conversation we should be having, and normalise things that should be normal, we spoke about menopause\u2026<\/p>\n

When you started your period, you were still in Nigeria and living with your sisters. What was that like?<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was so terrible. All my siblings knew I had started because I was in so much pain, so it wasn\u2019t a great experience. But they were helpful – buying me pads, telling me how to use them. Reminding me to be careful because now I could get pregnant.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s really sweet. When you started your menopause, then, did you reach out to them?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Because of the distance now, we don\u2019t talk as frequently as we used to. But when I did ask them about their experience, they told me they experienced nothing! They didn\u2019t even know what \u2018menopause\u2019 is, just that their periods stopped. I guess it\u2019s not the same for everyone.<\/p>\n

My mother is the youngest of three sisters, so I hoped she had them to seek advice from. Healthtalk.org shares that some women have no symptoms at all, whilst others have mood swings, anxiety, and depression. Here\u2019s to hoping I take after my aunties in that regard.<\/p>\n

Who else did you speak to then?<\/strong><\/p>\n

I asked the elderly people at work\u2026 and my GP.<\/p>\n

Was it easy to speak with your colleagues?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, they all knew. When you\u2019re at work and you have a hot flush, it\u2019s very noticeable. Customers would even notice when I served them at the till and jokingly ask if I was having a hot flush.<\/p>\n

Was that embarrassing for you?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Not at all, I didn\u2019t take it personally.<\/p>\n

About at home – do you think we (my brothers, dad and I) were supportive?<\/strong><\/p>\n

She laughs, a deadpan laugh.<\/p>\n

Did you understand?! It would be nice if my husband was more understanding\u2026<\/p>\n

Would you say you felt lonely then?<\/strong><\/p>\n

No, because it\u2019s just part of ageing and the process of being a woman. So there was no need to take it personally, or for it to upset me. It\u2019s just my body doing what it needs to do.<\/p>\n

Wherever you are in life, you just have to appreciate it. Because many people don\u2019t get to this point in their lives, so I\u2019m just grateful for where I am.<\/p>\n

Have I mentioned how much I\u2019ve always admired my mum\u2019s fortitude, positivity and just-get-on-with it attitude?<\/p>\n

What symptoms did you face and how was your mood?<\/strong><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve got to know how to control your moods, or it\u2019ll make your situation worse. You know, calm down and put a smile on your face. But those hot flushes – they make you want to scream sometimes; just got nuts! It\u2019s not an excuse to be rude to people, though. I can remember one of my supervisors, she was always so rude and would then apologise and blame it on her hormones. If you\u2019re at work, you just have to handle it in a professional way.<\/p>\n

Did your mum speak to you about menopause?<\/strong><\/p>\n

No, no I never.<\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n

We\u2019re wrapping up our call now. \u201cYou know, my mother never spoke to me about these things. I think that\u2019s why I never spoke to you about sex and other bits.\u201d My mum shares with a tinge of sadness in her voice. \u201cThat\u2019s okay, mum,\u201d I said, \u201cWe\u2019re changing that.\u201d<\/p>\n

For more menopause stories, advice and interviews, head to the\u00a0Menopause Your Way Stories hub<\/a>. To browse and shop a curated edit of menopause products, visit the\u00a0Menopause Your Way page on QVC<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The content of the QVC website is for information only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the QVC website.<\/em><\/p>\n

We understand there\u2019s a lot of information out there on the menopause. You can read through the\u00a0<\/em>NICE guidance on menopause management<\/i><\/a>, as well as the\u00a0<\/em>NHS overview on the menopause<\/i><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In a culture where conversations between generations don\u2019t usually happen, I sat down with my mum to hear what her experience of menopause was like. \u201cHey, Mummy.\u201d \u201cHello my Princess.\u201d My mum has just returned from Lisbon with my Dad, celebrating her 64th birthday and their 34th wedding anniversary. She\u2019s smiling at me through my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":82,"featured_media":117829,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[292,295],"tags":[176],"yoast_head":"\nModupe Ogunniyi talks menopause with her mum | Stories<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/menopause-your-way\/guest-author\/modupe-ogunniyi-menopause\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Modupe Ogunniyi talks menopause with her mum | Stories\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In a culture where conversations between generations don\u2019t usually happen, I sat down with my mum to hear what her experience of menopause was like. \u201cHey, Mummy.\u201d \u201cHello my Princess.\u201d My mum has just returned from Lisbon with my Dad, celebrating her 64th birthday and their 34th wedding anniversary. 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