When I was feeling at my worst during menopause (terrified of getting old, it was all going south, I was anxious, and I couldn\u2019t think of a thing to look forward to), I considered everything that might support me. I tried herbs, phytoestrogen foods, I baked healthy \u2018seed\u2019 cakes, upped the exercise (a bit) and considered HRT, but the one thing I couldn\u2019t address, was how much alcohol I was drinking.<\/p>\n
Something was off.\u00a0 Since writing my first wellbeing book fifteen years ago I had been on a mission to inspire everyone to live more holistically, to eat well, eschew chemicals and practice mindfulness, enjoy therapeutic techniques and focus on self love. Was I walking my talk? Well, you wouldn\u2019t find me putting anything on my skin that I couldn\u2019t eat,\u00a0 I bought the right organic\u00a0 food, juiced regularly, did yoga and had all manner of treatments, from EFT, TFT, NLP (perhaps I needed ABC) but it was all while I was shimmying around the great big elephant in the room – alcohol.<\/p>\n
I loved my nightly glass (or three) of wine, I was fully functioning, never had a DUI, never missed a day off work, I just drank most days\u2026 doesn\u2019t everyone? I couldn\u2019t just have one either, I wasn\u2019t born with an \u2018off switch\u2019. But to be clear, there was no rock bottom moment, I was what\u2019s known as \u2018high functioning\u2019 – or \u2018high bottomed\u2019 (sadly not true for a woman my age!)<\/p>\n
What\u2019s the issue with alcohol during the menopause?\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s not a good combination! Alcohol affects the central nervous system, the circulatory system, and virtually every part of your body (negatively). Women are more vulnerable to its effects, partly because the enzyme that metabolizes alcohol (dehydrogenase), is fairly inactive in our liver, so we absorb more into our bloodstream than men tend to. Alcohol can exacerbate sleep issues, can make hot flushes and night sweats worse, and often leads to weight gain, bloating and is linked to depression, mood swings etc. Then, there is the worrying fact that alcohol can affect bone health, so heavy drinkers can be more prone to osteoporosis.<\/p>\n Now at four years and eight months sober, I am staggered that I didn\u2019t make the connection between just how awful I was feeling and the amount I was drinking. I thought I was just \u2018normal\u2019, everyone drank – right?\u00a0 I assumed everyone my age had similar issues. I would wake at 3am almost without fail, heart racing, berating myself for yet again drinking too much, sweating profusely (I now know that drinking can increase your heart rate and widen blood vessels in the skin, so increases perspiration). I would hear a voice telling me “this has to stop, it\u2019s not authentic with who you are. You are meant to care about your health and practice self-care, stop poisoning your body with alcohol!”<\/p>\n By 6pm the next evening a much chirpier voice arrived. The voice of the wine witch.<\/p>\n “You\u2019ve had an exhausting day, time for a cheeky chilled Sauvignon\u2026You might give up? Don\u2019t be ridiculous!\u00a0 Sober – anagram of Bores! Everyone is drinking! You can just have one!”<\/p>\n Alcohol is so ingrained in our culture. From baby showers, christening, playdates, parties, weddings, fresher\u2019s week, funerals – from celebrations to commiserations, alcohol is the \u2018social glue\u2019 that sticks everything together. We have been brainwashed into thinking we are either \u2018good drinkers\u2019 or alcoholic losers. Clearly there are rock bottom drunks who have a serious issue, and the rest of us – happy social drinkers – occasionally lightweights who just can\u2019t hold their beer.<\/p>\n I’ve learnt over time that it\u2019s a spectrum and that there are many grey area drinkers. I\u2019d suggest there are at least 50 shades of grey – but sadly not so sexy!<\/p>\n Women have been cajoled into keeping up with the lads, while many millennials are choosing not to drink at all, the biggest rise in drinking is in older women, and yet we are the ones the toxic liquid hits hardest.\u00a0 Alcohol is responsible for 200 different illnesses, including cancer, and it\u2019s notably terrible for exacerbating menopausal symptoms.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve lost count of clients who have told me they rocked up to a GP or a practitioner complaining of mood swings, anxiety, insomnia, wondering if they were menopausal, only to be sent away minutes later with a prescription for anti-depressants, sometimes HRT too, but they were never asked about their drinking. It\u2019s a disaster waiting to happen, that so many women are being offered medication, without being asked whether they are, in fact self-medicating.<\/p>\n I wasn\u2019t sure how to stop drinking to be honest, it was such an ingrained habit, and I was worried about what others might say, whether I\u2019d be ridiculed and sober-shamed, rather than congratulated for the sober badass I really was! When you stop smoking everyone says well done! But if you stop drinking people tend to look concerned and ask if you have a problem.<\/p>\n You see, alcohol is the only drug you have to justify not taking, and when I finally decided to quit just for Dry January 2018<\/strong> I didn\u2019t tell anyone close to me. I felt a sense of shame and guilt that I couldn\u2019t explain. In reality I found that if I stood my ground and said “thanks, I\u2019d love a drink, I\u2019ll have sparkling water”, people accepted that, if I hesitated and looked unsure, then they steamed in with “can\u2019t you just have one?”<\/p>\n I\u2019d given up for short periods before during pregnancies, but I had always counted the days until I could drink again. This time it was different, it was as if a light had come on, and I didn\u2019t ever go back.<\/p>\n I found that rather than giving something up, I was gaining my life back.<\/p>\n I discovered – to quote the most perfect book title by Catherine Gray – the unexpected joy of being sober.<\/p>\n If only someone had told me before how freaking fantastic life without alcohol is!<\/p>\n I\u2019d read about all the benefits that can come when you reduce or give up drinking. Better sleep, regulated weight, better digestion, better sex, better cognitive function, and many people report their anxiety reduces or dissipates. I didn\u2019t lose any weight for a few months and I felt \u2018chaotic\u2019, but eventually all the benefits kicked in – and more. All the overheating stopped, no more hot flushes! My eyesight improved (really!) and I got shiny locks, sober hair (who knew!) and I feel younger in myself. Want the best anti-ageing secret ever?\u00a0 Ditch the booze!\u00a0 (You\u2019re welcome!)<\/p>\n Top tips if you want to give it a try are:<\/strong><\/p>\n Commit to a challenge, at least 30 days, 100 is better, focus only on what you are gaining, get inspired, listen to podcasts and read \u2018quit lit\u2019, and get connection – they do say connection is the opposite of addiction.<\/p>\n Janey Lee Grace is a presenter on BBC Radio 2, author of Happy Healthy Sober: Ditch the Booze and Take Control of Your Life<\/strong> – and the founder of The Sober Club.<\/strong><\/p>\n For more stories, advice and interviews, head to the\u00a0Menopause Your Way Stories hub<\/a>. To browse and shop a curated edit of menopause products, visit the\u00a0Menopause Your Way page on QVC<\/a>.<\/p>\n The content of the QVC website is for information only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the QVC website.<\/em><\/p>\n We understand there\u2019s a lot of information out there on the menopause. You can read through the\u00a0<\/em>NICE guidance on menopause management<\/i><\/a>, as well as the\u00a0<\/em>NHS overview on the menopause<\/i><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When I was feeling at my worst during menopause (terrified of getting old, it was all going south, I was anxious, and I couldn\u2019t think of a thing to look forward to), I considered everything that might support me. I tried herbs, phytoestrogen foods, I baked healthy \u2018seed\u2019 cakes, upped the exercise (a bit) and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":82,"featured_media":117692,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[292,295],"tags":[176],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117571"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/82"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=117571"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117571\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":117578,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117571\/revisions\/117578"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/117692"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=117571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=117571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=117571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}