Coming to terms with the physical and mental changes brought on by menopause can be challenging.\u00a0 Women grow up with the narrative that their value is intrinsically linked to their physical appearance, so it\u2019s natural to lose some confidence when physical changes appear.<\/p>\n
According to menopause coach and educator Catherine O’Keeffe, “Menopause can be a deeply psychological time for many, understanding what menopause is and what it may look like for you is key, it’s not just hot flushes! Given the individual nature of menopause, we will all have a unique experience, many women experience an impact on their self-confidence which also impacts self-esteem. There is no right or wrong way to navigate menopause – it is down to doing what is right for you\u201d.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m perimenopausal but have been lucky not to have experienced a lot of symptoms.\u00a0 However, I\u2019ve noticed my confidence disappearing at the same rate as my collagen, so I\u2019ve tried to flip my focus from how my body looks to what it can do.\u00a0 This has been far more supportive for my mental health, and I\u2019ve found that midlife can be a time of great growth and personal development.<\/p>\n
I lived in Spain for a year, and I\u2019ve always been fascinated by flamenco dancing: the passion, the vigour, the colour and the noise.\u00a0 However, I never gave learning it any real consideration. It was one of those things I thought I\u2019d always watch from the sidelines but never do, because I just didn\u2019t have the confidence. It was the wake-up call of the pandemic that made me realise \u201cif not now, when?\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not naturally graceful, and like many women our age, have gained a few pounds lately. I was wracked with self-doubt. Could I do something totally out of my comfort zone?<\/p>\n
I decided there was only one way to find out, and if I was going to do it, I was going to do it right! I signed up for zoom-based lessons at Taller Flamenco, a dance school based in Seville.\u00a0 I have passable Spanish and I decided I may as well take lessons from experts in \u2018the home of flamenco\u2019. I was assigned Lourdes Recio, a highly experienced dancer who has studied under some of the flamenco masters like Manolo Mar\u00edn.<\/p>\n
At first, I was so awkward and embarrassed that I couldn\u2019t even look at myself in the mirror as I danced.\u00a0 All I could think about was my two left feet and my flabby arms.\u00a0 However, the great thing about flamenco is that it requires such intense levels of concentration that it\u2019s almost impossible to think about anything else.\u00a0 In fact, I was concentrating so hard on getting the moves right that Lourdes told me \u201cmenos concentraci\u00f3n m\u00e1s pasi\u00f3n\u201d (less concentration more passion).<\/p>\n
She explained that I was focusing so hard on co-ordinating the moves that I was forgetting what it was all about.\u00a0 Flamenco is about confidence and passion, so she told me that regardless of whether my feet, hands and head were doing the right things, I should just have fun. That\u2019s quite hard to do when you feel like Bambi on roller-skates! However, as the weeks went on, my skills, and my confidence, improved.<\/p>\n
When I visited Seville this year, I arranged an in-person lesson with Lourdes.\u00a0 It was amazing to have that personal connection (Zoom only goes so far!).\u00a0 What doesn\u2019t come across in 2D was the sheer chutzpah and self-assurance that emanates from her when she moves.\u00a0 I was in awe of her grace and natural confidence.<\/p>\n
Lourdes arranged a short choreography that I could learn in 2 hours, based on the Tango of Triana.\u00a0 She told me that particular type of flamenco was all about being brazen and dancing \u201csin verguenza\u201d (without shame or embarrassment).\u00a0 There was a lot of bum slapping, hip rolling, pointing and strutting. Basically, my worst nightmare! However, by the end of our time together, I managed to point, strut and look in the mirror without falling over laughing, so I\u2019ll take that as a win. Strangely I did feel more confident \u2013 not only was I taking on a new challenge (in my second language) but I was feeling good about just doing<\/em> it.<\/p>\n As an A-type personality, I\u2019m not going to lie, I like to win. I like to achieve my goals and tick off my many to-do lists.\u00a0 I inadvertently picked the best possible remedy for myself, because you can\u2019t win at dancing, and it turns out, you can\u2019t lose either.<\/p>\n Several studies have indicated that dancing can have profoundly beneficial effects on not just physical health, but brain function and even self-esteem. \u00a0A recent report<\/a> published by the Australasian Menopause Society<\/em> indicates that \u201cdancing improves cholesterol levels, physical fitness, self-image, and self-esteem in postmenopausal women\u201d and research<\/a> suggests that dancing can hugely improve sedentary women’s mental health and quality of life.<\/p>\n Midlife is a time of profound physiological change, but with it comes great wisdom, self-awareness and an opportunity for growth. I\u2019ve found that learning to dance has been life-affirming and empowering. I definitely won\u2019t be auditioning for Strictly<\/em> any time soon, and that\u2019s fine by me.\u00a0 The gamechanger was understanding that being perfect isn\u2019t the point; being present in the moment is. As a perfectionist, that\u2019s been a hard-won lesson for me.<\/p>\n I realised it doesn\u2019t matter if I never get better than I am now.\u00a0 I\u2019m having fun, proving you\u2019re never too old to learn new things, and boosting my physical and mental wellbeing. I\u2019m taking back my confidence, one step at a time. I\u2019m still working on the brazenness though\u2026<\/p>\n For more stories, advice and interviews, head to the\u00a0Menopause Your Way Stories hub<\/a>. To browse and shop a curated edit of menopause products, visit the\u00a0Menopause Your Way page on QVC<\/a>.<\/p>\n The content of the QVC website is for information only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on the QVC website.<\/i><\/p>\n We understand there\u2019s a lot of information out there on the menopause. You can read through the\u00a0<\/i>NICE guidance on menopause management<\/i><\/a>, as well as the\u00a0<\/i>NHS overview on the menopause<\/i><\/a>.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Coming to terms with the physical and mental changes brought on by menopause can be challenging.\u00a0 Women grow up with the narrative that their value is intrinsically linked to their physical appearance, so it\u2019s natural to lose some confidence when physical changes appear. According to menopause coach and educator Catherine O’Keeffe, “Menopause can be a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":82,"featured_media":119543,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[292,295],"tags":[176],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119541"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/82"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=119541"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119541\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":119544,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119541\/revisions\/119544"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/119543"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=119541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=119541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=119541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}