{"id":4379,"date":"2019-04-14T07:00:29","date_gmt":"2019-04-14T06:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tilibeauty.co.uk\/?p=4379"},"modified":"2019-04-14T07:00:29","modified_gmt":"2019-04-14T06:00:29","slug":"amara-howe-the-effect-of-eczema-on-my-mental-health","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/beauty-insider\/josie-e\/amara-howe-the-effect-of-eczema-on-my-mental-health\/","title":{"rendered":"Amara Howe: the effect of eczema on my mental health"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"AmaraAmara Howe is a writer on topics of\u00a0love, sex, fashion, health, and feminism. Find her on Instagram<\/a> and Twitter<\/a>, where she uses\u00a0#<\/s>eczemawarrior to document her battle with eczema. Here she recounts how the skin condition has affected her mental health…<\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

There are flakes on my keyboard right now. Unfortunately, it\u2019s not my Kellogg\u2019s from this morning wedged in between the keys \u2013 it\u2019s my skin. No matter how much you try to remind yourself your skin doesn\u2019t define you, having to sweep up your skin every morning isn\u2019t exactly the definition of fun.<\/p>\n

I first developed eczema when I was 18 \u2013 I\u2019m 25 now. That\u2019s seven years of itching. 84 months of scratching. 2,555 days of bleeding. 61,320\u2026 you get the picture.<\/p>\n

Now I\u2019m sure you know what eczema is, but for those that don\u2019t, it\u2019s a medical condition in which the skin becomes itchy, red, dry and cracked \u2013 for no apparent reason at all. I mean just the other day I thought my skin was finally having a breakthrough moment telling me I\u2019d endured enough scratching for a lifetime when BAM \u2013 a flare.<\/p>\n

For some, eczema might just be a little dry patch on the back of their hands but for me it\u2019s a dry patch which has somehow managed to reach everywhere besides my feet and my buttocks \u2013 praise Jesus for this gorgeous peach. Jokes aside, it\u2019s crappy.<\/p>\n

As someone who approached teenage-hood with no boobs, a sweat disorder (that\u2019s another story) and extreme anxiety I developed body dysmorphia at a very young age\u2026 I even got a nose job. After years of battling this I came out the other side at age 18 where my adulthood began. A new job, a boyfriend, a great group of friends, what more could you want? It wasn\u2019t long after my eighteenth birthday when I started to develop a small patch of eczema on my wrists.<\/p>\n

While I may hashtag skin positivity and post photos of me and my wrinkly neck, I\u2019d much rather take a photo of myself in my underwear without looking like Freddie Krueger\u2019s gone at me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Within the space of a year the eczema had spread all over my body affecting mostly my arms and neck. I was happy with my new life but having this condition meant there was a constant niggling in the back of my brain telling me I\u2019d only be beautiful once my condition disappeared.<\/p>\n

Seven years later and that niggle still exists. My skin is clearer than it used to be but seven years has taught me a lot, particularly when it comes to my mental health. Having always suffered from anxiety and depression, the wish to feel ‘normal’ had always beaten me down.<\/p>\n

I know, I know \u2013 what is normal anyway? But when you\u2019re a fashion graduate addicted to Instagram it is pretty difficult not to get yourself down about the fact you\u2019re skin isn\u2019t as smooth as a baby\u2019s bum. Sure, Kendall Jenner might be promoting Acutane, but I\u2019m still waiting to see those acne scars hun.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong – skin positivity is on the rise, from acne to vitiligo, psoriasis to birthmarks, people\u2019s perceptions of beautiful are changing. But until you read or hear about it you probably wouldn\u2019t know I have to shake my sheets free of skin daily, or that my boyfriend hoovers my skin weekly \u2013 I\u2019m serious. While I may hashtag skin positivity and post photos of me and my wrinkly neck, I\u2019d much rather take a photo of myself in my underwear without looking like Freddie Krueger\u2019s gone at me.<\/p>\n

From bloodied bed sheets to skin-covered floor boards, eczema isn\u2019t pretty. While I\u2019ve embraced the positives – I\u2019ve made friends with fellow itchies, \u00a0I get paid to write about it, and I\u2019ve found nothing quite comes close to an orgasmic scratch – I can\u2019t embrace the condition itself. Why? Because it\u2019s not me. It doesn\u2019t belong to me, I don\u2019t own it and it doesn\u2019t own me (as much as I might think it does).<\/p>\n

My body doesn\u2019t hate me – it is trying to fight this horrible condition.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So what have I discovered? While the condition sucks it has made me realise a few things. I am beautiful. I have a lovely face, pretty lips, big eyes and a banging taste in fashion. It\u2019s taken a skin condition to realise this but if it wasn\u2019t for my eczema I know I\u2019d still be hooked up on another flaw.<\/p>\n

Sure, I might look like a lobster most of the time but some days I wake up and my skin is a little less red and I appreciate everything so much more. My body doesn\u2019t hate me – it is trying to fight this horrible condition.<\/p>\n

Focusing on the positives are hard but I promise you, having those good skin days make it all worth it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Amara Howe is a writer on topics of\u00a0love, sex, fashion, health, and feminism. Find her on Instagram and Twitter, where she uses\u00a0#eczemawarrior to document her battle with eczema. Here she recounts how the skin condition has affected her mental health…   There are flakes on my keyboard right now. Unfortunately, it\u2019s not my Kellogg\u2019s from […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":4392,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"video","meta":[],"categories":[203],"tags":[198,202],"yoast_head":"\nAmara Howe: the effect of eczema on my mental health | Stories<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/stories.qvcuk.com\/beauty-insider\/josie-e\/amara-howe-the-effect-of-eczema-on-my-mental-health\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Amara Howe: the effect of eczema on my mental health | Stories\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Amara Howe is a writer on topics of\u00a0love, sex, fashion, health, and feminism. 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