Journalist and content writer Julia Sidwell talks to clinical psychologist and author Dr. Kirren Schnack on how to identify if you are part of the sandwich generation, the pressures for those in it, and advice on how to ease the burden of being a sandwich carer.
Life can be challenging for all generations, but the day-to-day struggles for one, termed the ‘sandwich generation’, can lead to intense feelings of strain and exhaustion. Adults in their 40s and 50s who are caring for their ageing parents, as well as raising or supporting their growing children, are dealing with a host of responsibilities in their day-to-day life that can have implications for their mental health.
Research shows there are now 1.3 million people in the UK with this twin responsibility. These sandwich carers, who are being pulled in two different directions, are more likely to report symptoms of poor mental health, which can include anxiety and depression. They might also feel less satisfied with their lives and struggle financially.
The Office for National Statistics (ONS) reported that almost 27% of sandwich carers show symptoms of mental ill-health while caring for both sick, disabled or older relatives and children. They also found that the prevalence of mental ill-health increases with the amount of care given.
Responsibilities
Psychologist Dr. Kirren Schnack has more than 18 years’ experience in psychological assessment and the treatment of adults, children and their families, including those within the sandwich generation.
The number of middle-aged people ‘sandwiched’ between the responsibilities of caring for elderly parents and their own children, is increasing. We are living longer, and there are people choosing to have children later in life. Therefore, these carers are finding themselves caught in the sandwich for longer.
Dr. Kirren says: “People fulfilling this dual role encompass various aspects. Financially, they navigate the needs of their children and may also contribute to the management or financial well-being of elderly parents, addressing lifestyle changes, care needs, and the increasing costs of living.
“Emotionally, they provide support to children facing challenges, while offering companionship and understanding to elderly parents dealing with health issues, lifestyle adjustments, and potential loss. Managing medical appointments, medications, and ensuring access to healthcare services is a shared responsibility for both generations.
Housing support may involve helping parents with changing living arrangements as their needs evolve. The multifaceted role of the sandwich generation extends to crisis management, legal and admin tasks, time management, academic support, facilitating inter-generational communication, and addressing end-of-life planning.
Balancing the needs of two distinct generations while also attending their own personal needs presents a unique challenge.”
Pandemic pressure
The COVID-19 pandemic heightened concerns about the health and well-being of both generations. Following the onset of the pandemic there was a distinct rise in anxiety across all age groups.
“Apart from the anxiety stemming directly from the pandemic, increased caregiving responsibilities, financial strain, and the emotional toll of managing family dynamics during a crisis collectively intensified stress levels,” says Dr. Kirren.
The necessity for additional health precautions, disruptions in healthcare services with longer wait times, and the shift to remote work or education have further complicated the juggling act for the sandwich generation.
“Amidst these changes, supporting children’s return to school with potential impacts to academic ability and social skills, as well as helping parents in readjusting to ‘normal’ life, adds an additional layer of complexity.”
Juggling act
Being in the middle of caring for two generations does of course have its positives – spending more time with loved ones, and experiencing the feeling of giving back can be extremely fulfilling. However, being part of the sandwich generation can profoundly impact your own ‘normal’ daily life, anxiety levels, and overall mental well-being.
“Balancing the needs of both younger and older family members can feel relentless – consuming time, energy, and other resources that you may not feel you have or would prefer to use to meet your own needs,” says Dr. Kirren.
“The constant juggling act, managing the needs of two generations, often leads to emotional exhaustion, heightened stress levels, and an overwhelming sense of responsibility.”
She explains the well-being of those caught in the sandwich can be compromised as the weight of caregiving takes its toll: “If they are not able to make time for their own needs and take care of their emotional well-being, it can result in burnout, heightened anxiety, and depression.
“The emotional baggage accumulated from prolonged periods of caregiving without self-care not only puts strain on a person, but it can also strain relationships, both within the family and with others.”
According to Dr. Kirren, the importance of carving out time to meet your own personal and emotional needs is paramount if you want to navigate daily demands as effectively as possible.
Self-recognition
Dr/ Kirren urges those within the sandwich generation to recognise and appreciate their efforts.
“Managing multiple responsibilities is an extraordinary feat, so they need to give themselves the credit they deserve,” she says. “I realise that finding time for yourself can be challenging, but not doing so can worsen the stress you’re already feeling.”
It’s not unusual to feel discomfort, guilt, or worry about others when making time for yourself, but Dr. Kirren believes caring for others effectively begins with caring for yourself: “Identify aspects of your responsibilities that can be let go to create breathing space and extra time so you can seek help to meet your own needs – you matter too. Utilise pockets of time to prioritise activities that bring you personal joy or try activities you find relaxing.”
Establishing a support system among friends, family, or support groups in which to share experiences can alleviate the burden of these challenges. Dr. Kirren also expresses how important it is to learn to delegate: “Be cautious not to take on additional responsibilities. Instead, maintain clear boundaries, learn to say no when you need to, and don’t hesitate to hand over tasks to others you trust – all of these will help to prevent burnout.
Remember, prioritising your own mental health is paramount. Self-care is never selfish, but a fundamental aspect of effective and sustainable caregiving.”
If signs of burnout, anxiety, or depression arise, consult your GP for additional support.
Dr. Kirren can be found on Instagram and on her website.
ONS research:
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/healthandwellbeing/articles/morethanoneinfoursandwichcarersreportsymptomsofmentalillhealth/2019-01-14
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